There have been many times where things just seemed too good, and the other shoe fell. Maybe its karma for some sin I’ve committed to a vengeful god. I could sit here and whine about the turns life has took, about the decisions that caused my good luck to run out. Tge way I look at it, I took a chance, I took a chance on people, gambling, bad habits, sex, caring, art. I could have played it safe, and never put myself out there, but how close to ecstacy would I have come. Not close enough, I crave the attempt, I never learn not to touch the stove. I plant my face in the blue flame and inhale my burnt hair and melting flesh.
Some day I’ll learn to think things out better, to trust my head vs my heart. I’ll be better able to compare and comment on some of my greater errors and make changes to lessen the impact on the wrong people in my life, the ones who claim they love me. If someone tells you that run.
One day we get within a breaths diameter away from heaven, then we toss off the last vapor of our soul and become a bloated bag of blackened organs. Our wings not yet sprouted.