When does habit turn to addiction. When does addiction turn back into habit.
When I quit smoking over 2 years ago, right before I quit I panicked about what I would do besides smoke. I found a great deal to do, live. It’s that panic that defines my addiction.
Earlier this year I broke from my no smoking and started back up. I blamed my daughters for giving me a scare. It wasn’t their fault Obviously, that was my addiction taking the blame away from me and putting it elsewhere.
Last night, well yesterday after my dr appointment I ran out of cigarettes, I didn’t buy any. Before I went to bed I went to my car, it was 1130 PM planning on grabbing smokes, and then when my children were watching cartoons, slipping out to grab a well needed smoke.
My children have told me my car stinks, I stink, they cough around me. So if I’m going to blame them, I’m going to quit for them. I’ve done it before, I can do it again.
I find myself bargaining with the smokes. I’m not sure there can be a bargain.